


stuck in gravity, clawing for some bravery

by exhaustedwerewolf



Category: Life of the Party D&D (Web Series)
Genre: Alternative title: Elyse represses worries she is not yet ready to confront, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Emotional support bird Rana, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Flying, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Homesickness, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insomnia, Kind of? I don't know how to tag this one does it show, Major Spoilers, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, POV Third Person, Relationship Study, Spoilers for Episode 37: Sunrise, i just love them so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhaustedwerewolf/pseuds/exhaustedwerewolf
Summary: Elyse spends a sleepless night atop the roof of the Dawnbringers' barracks. Morning always seems to come sooner when you've got someone to pass the hours alongside.
Relationships: Elyse & Vanden (Life of the Party)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	stuck in gravity, clawing for some bravery

**Author's Note:**

> title for this one is from [stuck in gravity](https://open.spotify.com/track/3AF6JW5zzVmSkQWIKMVYqh?si=TuaZrn1qTPerhMofYi-g0A) by of monsters and men, which I found through [elyse's official playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3sFBmbdZk4ExyoZo3HKxQG?si=ccQIAG9ZTpywUR_d7Mr2EQ)
> 
> hope you enjoy ♥

Shadebourne doesn’t exactly offer the best view, this late at night. It’s hard to tell where the sprawl of stone-carved buildings ends and where the mountainside meets them. Without candles aglow in the windows, it’s only a shadowscape, both endless and claustrophobic. Elyse stares out into the crowded dark, Rana at her side. 

With a tired exhale, she lies back on the roof for the hundredth time, even though she can’t sleep. It’s impossible to sleep, sometimes, without the quiet motion of the airship beneath her, the muted flap of the sails, the creak of the rigging. She’d give anything to be back in her bunk, give anything to stretch out her fingers and meet the curve of the hull, every dent in the metal memorised, more familiar than the veins in the back of her hand. Instead, she clutches at the chain around her neck, fidgeting with her arcane focus repetitively. She’s so exhausted she can taste it, stale metal in her mouth- her magic writhes with her own restlessness. She’s frustrated enough to scream, and probably would, if only she had the energy. 

The sky is overcast, the moon veiled behind the low clouds, and she feels vaguely like she’s fallen from it and landed here, splayed, and just doesn’t have the strength to rise. But at the rattle of the window being pushed open, Rana squawks in surprise and Elyse starts. She pushes herself up onto her elbows, twisting round to see Vanden, one leg already swung over the sill. 

They stare at each other in silence for a moment. And another. Eventually, she speaks, hoarsely, still disoriented from the suddenness of no longer being alone.

“Uh. Hey?” 

“Ah, hi.” Vanden blinks back at her, frozen mid-clamber. “Sorry, I… didn’t realise you’d be up here this late.” He gestures towards the pile of blankets and pillows she’s cast aside. “I mean, it must be almost dawn.”

Elyse resists the urge to remind him she sleeps up here every night- partly, she doesn’t want a lecture on her bedtime routine from someone whose bed is permanently buried under an inch of dust. Mostly it sounds like a lot of words to string together right now- she scrubs at the corner of her eyes roughly to try to get herself to concentrate.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She says instead- it’s not technically a lie, anyway, and then, realising that he’s hesitating halfway out of the window, as if lingering at the threshold of a room, she jerks her head to beckon him out. “C’mon.” Rana clicks her own gentle encouragement, as if in agreement. 

Vanden releases a breath and nods, offering her a small smile. There’s the soft _snick_ of the heels of his boots against the tile as he steps out into the weak moonlight beside her. His nightshirt is a little oversized, hangs loosely on his frame. Elyse’s eyes wander to the swathe of skin, where, just below his feathers, the faint scars of the brands would be if not for the signet ring. The memory of their glow under her Detect Magic spell lingers, superimposed over her vision like phosphenes, and she blinks and averts her gaze guilitly. He doesn’t seem to have noticed- he’s gazing out at the black cityscape with a distant expression on his face. 

Vanden says something, then, in that sonorous, echoing language she knows now is Celestial. She shakes her head at him and he blushes.

“Sorry.” He says quickly.

“No, don’t be.” Elyse replies, though she can feel her expression twist as she recalls the strange hiss and crackle of the language that wasn’t quite Fulgan on the shopkeeper’s lips, the breathy rush and sigh of the priest’s prayer at the temple of Kord. She pulls her knees into her chest and tries to sound casual. “What did you say?”

“Just that it’s cold up here.” Vanden forces a laugh. “I don’t know how you stand it.” 

“Yeah.” They lapse into silence for a bit. A part of her doesn’t want to be alone with him, not right now. Maybe it’s just that she’s so tired, and the homesickness she’s always dragging around is so heavy tonight she can feel the weight of it in every muscle, every sinew. But more than that, there’s a tension between them, and she thinks it’s her fault. She can’t forget the way his voice broke, as he spoke past the tears he couldn’t choke back-

_Why would they do this to me?_

She’d felt his betrayal in her own body, like the shock of impact after a hard fall, the sudden crunch of bone against stone. He’d looked so young as he’d said it. For a second he’d just been a child finding out the people who he’d trusted to protect him- the people who were supposed to protect him had lied, had hurt him, _had known they were hurting him_ \- and she’s at the Water Snakes again, staring at her wrists, as the lightning-fork fissures fracture her skin, not understanding _any of it_ -

 _No._ She can feel the veins of lightning crackling to life under her skin, the voltage climbing. She wills her magic to calm, clenches and unclenches her hands into fists. Rana clicks cajolingly and hops onto her lap, fluffing up her feathers- Elyse concentrates on breathing evenly, and scratching her gently under her beak. By the time Rana’s eyes fall closed in bliss when she finds her favourite spot, Elyse can feel her power gradually eneverated again. 

“It’s nice to get some air, though.” She says, at length, though it comes out a little thin. Vanden doesn’t respond at once, and she can’t read anything in him with him standing so still. 

“Actually,” He admits, with something close to shame, to confession. “I came out here to try flying again.” He speaks quietly, in that low voice just shy of a whisper people reserve for night conversations, even if no-one’s around to wake. “I need to make sure I know what I’m doing. If it becomes necessary during a fight, I don’t want anyone having to catch me when I fall out of the sky-”

“I can go with you.” Elyse blurts without thinking. It won’t be the same, but it will be _something_ \- “Or, Rana can- and I can watch.”

He looks momentarily surprised, and for a second she thinks he’s going to say no and feels clumsy and stupid for it, but then he nods, and gives her a genuine smile.

“Alright,” He agrees, “I’d like that, actually.”

 _I don’t know what I’d do without you,_ he’d said.

She looks away from him again for a second.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Elyse still isn’t used to the sight of the wings emerging. It’s not quite as bewildering as watching the ship unfold from the bottle, in all its ludicrous geometry, but there’s something of that impossibility to it. They tear through the thin fabric of the shirt, extending beyond logical sense to magnificent length. Mostly, it’s a relief to watch them smoothly unfurl; the ease of it is incredibly unlike the gorey eruption she’d witnessed at the Cranwells’. 

For a moment Vanden stands uncertainly, looking a little sheepish as he articulates the wings stiffly, experimentally, but then he turns to the ledge. A gust flutters his plumage, and the look vanishes. He ruffles his feathers, the image of Rana, now stirring her own wings in anticipation, and for a heartbeat Elyse can’t believe she didn’t know from the moment she met him. Renard; the man with the phoenix feather armor, flighty, hollow-boned and hungry from the start. It seems blindingly obvious he’s every bit as made for the sky as she is. But before she can finish the thought, he’s bounding towards the edge of the roof, and in a blur of bronze, he vanishes below the slope of the tile. Her breath catches, the thunder of the fireworks and the chorus of her friends’ panicked screams ringing in her ears- and then with a great beating of his wings, he surges up again.

Rana gives a high and piercing call, and is all at once aloft in a flurry of blue, and without even thinking Elyse’s vision snaps to hers- she sees herself lie back on the roof, shrinking as Rana whirls skyward, and it’s all the enchantment of the moment of take-off, of running to the stern to watch the world below grow distant and vanish-

Rana glides beside Vanden, effortlessly, wings so still she could be a papercraft hung from the ceiling of the sky. Meanwhile, Vanden is all jolting motion at first; his wings shudder as he tries to hold them steady, and when an updraft sends him listing he’s left flapping frantically to correct for it, arms splayed to keep from overbalancing. Suddenly, he drops down a few metres, and Elyse glances down sharply in concern, but at once he is struggling back up to Rana’s height, smiling cautiously. He weaves around her in a slow circle- it’s more like he’s remembering what to do than learning. Elyse feels the same way when a new spell crackles at the tips of her fingers- now, that familiar giddy adrenaline rises within her, and the beat of her heart goes synchronous with the beat of Rana’s wings. With a shrill cry, she dives close to Vanden, playfully scuffing her wing against his cheek. Her vision spinning as Rana twists around, Elyse just barely catches a glimpse of Vanden’s grinning face, hair wild and tangled in the breeze, before he swoops towards her in retaliation. 

They fall into something between a game of tag and a sort of dance, darting back and forth, spiralling around one another, the rhythm of their wings almost drowned out by the rush of the air, by Rana’s delighted chirrups and snatches of Vanden’s responding laughter. The cold press of the tile is still against her back, digging into her elbows where her hands are folded behind her head, but Elyse can also feel the smile forming on her face, and then the delighted laugh rippling through her as Rana swoops over Vanden’s head, almost as electric as the thrill of her magic coursing through her veins. She can only imagine the kiss of the wind, but the feeling is close enough for her fingers to graze it. 

It’s over sooner than she’d like. Vanden can’t stay airborne for long. He gestures downward, veering back towards the roof, and realising, Elyse plummets back into her own senses. She struggles back up into a sitting position, still pleasantly dizzy, if squinting a little. It takes a while for her to readjust to her own vision- Rana’s is so much sharper, and she presses her knuckles to her temples, trying to ride the blur out. Her familiar touches down silently, and Vanden alights almost as gracefully beside her, though he stumbles a bit under the weight of the wings as he tries to straighten. He rolls his shoulders as he glances back at them, and they all watch as the feathers take on an ember glow and begin to smoulder. When the last has crumbled to ash, vanishing in a wisp of smoke, he exhales, combing back the tangled hairs that have been blown into his face, and tosses a smile to Elyse- eyes still alight. She grins back at him.

“How was _that_?” She asks, pleased to find herself happy for him in earnest, despite the subtle ache in her throat. He looks genuinely carefree like this, windswept, cheeks flushed from the cold and breathing hard. So different from- Well. From usual. 

“Incredible.” He says, with a disbelieving laugh, taking a few eager paces along the roof edge, he looks back up into the sky. “I… honestly can’t wait to get up there again.”

Elyse’s own smile wanes a little as she follows his gaze, loses herself for a moment in the billow and swirl of the dark clouds, the few faraway glimpses of starlight, framed by the looming black granite of the mountain. She runs her fingers through Rana’s plumage, and the chill of the night air turns biting, the cool scents on the air unbearably unfamiliar.

“Yeah,” She says, thickly. “I know exactly what you mean.”

The breeze whispers around them, and she suppresses a shudder.

“We’ll get you back up there.” At the sound of Vanden’s voice, she looks back to him- sincerity is writ into every line of his face. “I promise.” His earnesty would probably be annoying if not for the bare honesty in his voice. Despite herself, she laughs. It’s strange to discover that she actually believes him. 

“Yeah, well.” She says, rolling her eyes. Rana buts her head against her chin affectionately, and she presses a kiss to the top of her tufted crest. “One thing at a time.” 

“Sure. And, in the meantime...” He sits down next to her, dragging over one of the pillows from the nest of bedding she’d long since kicked aside. “Do you have Ospeian Nights with you?”

“The Book of a Thousand Suns.” Elyse corrects him with a fond shake of her head, but she pulls the tome out from where she’d nestled it protectively in her tangle of blankets.

“Okay, okay.” He nudges her gently with his shoulder, and she nudges him back. “Give it here, it’s my turn to read.” She passes it over, and he opens the book to a random tale- landing, by chance, on the tale of the Prince and the flying carpet. He clears his throat a little primly, making her snort, before he begins. He’s barely halfway through a paragraph before they’re leaning into one another, heads bent close so that they can both see the intricate illustrations. Elyse tugs the thick quilt she’d abandoned earlier around them, and before she knows it she’s forgotten the cold completely, cheerfully bickering with Vanden when he interrupts himself to point out “changes” from his own edition. 

Shadebourne lives up to its name; they don’t get to watch the sun rise in the traditional sense, don’t see any golden rays of light cresting the horizon. But dawn comes all the same- birdsong weaves the breeze like a sparkling thread, and distant voices carry on the morning air as the city slowly awakens. The colour seeps back into the world around them as the air brightens, just enough, and the blue fragments of sky up above are that little bit closer.

**Author's Note:**

> me, in the livechat last week: "Oh I feel like Elyse and Vanden have in common their families not telling them the truth about stuff :("  
> Isa: "👀"  
> me, already opening up a google doc: (whispering) goddamnit-
> 
> thank you so much for reading! and special thanks to whoever told me in the chat they would also like to see elyse and vanden flying together, you made me take the idea seriously! sorry I don't remember your username :(
> 
> I'm also [@exhaustedwerewolf](https://exhaustedwerewolf.tumblr.com/) on tumblr; my askbox is always open for requests, or if you just want to chat. 
> 
> also this is a prompt fill for [@badthingshappenbingo](https://badthingshappenbingo.tumblr.com/) \- 'insomnia'! phew, think that's everything.


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